


Rain Does Not Always Fall from the Sky

by DancingRainfall_TokoToko



Category: Quantum Devil Saga: Avatar Tuner - 五代 ゆう | Godai Yuu, Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga
Genre: (I dunno what to tag, Being able to interact meaningfully with your crush without it being creepy., Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Schrodinger doing cat things, Two people sleeping in the same bed but under two different blankets, massages?, this is my first time posting on here...)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23249878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancingRainfall_TokoToko/pseuds/DancingRainfall_TokoToko
Summary: Rain doesn’t always fall from the sky. Sometimes it falls from our eyes. Sometimes it falls from our hearts.A story in which a woman struggling with new, terrifying, unfamiliar memories and feelings, realizes that she may not be alone. That the least likely person in the Junkyard to have these similar feelings might need possibly more solace than she does.
Relationships: One Sided Oc/Heat
Kudos: 3





	Rain Does Not Always Fall from the Sky

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, all! This is my first fic I've posted anywhere in years, and this is my first time posting a fic on here, so please be kind!  
> A couple of notes: Zuki has latent memories from someone who isn't herself. Three different events from that person, but one places her in her own body, though it's not an event that she knows happened to her in the past. Also, yes, she does have romantic feelings for Heat, but accepts that he has feelings for Serph. In addition, her Atma, Rati (based on the Hindu goddess of Love, Lust, and Passion), has feelings for Varuna, and Serph by extension, but despite her nature, will not make any extreme move without his and Agni's permission. Blowing a kiss is one thing, but consent is another. Whether or not either of them will express their feelings fully will depend on what happens.  
> Also, I do plan on posting Zuki's bio at some point, but I'm going to have to fix up a few things in it before I do.  
> If anyone has any questions about her, I'll be more than happy to divulge! Criticism is welcome in all forms here!

**_Late…_ **

**_I'm late…_ **

**_It's important…_ **

**_Running…_ **

**_Legs shaking...they can barely support me…_ **

**_Gunshots fire as I open the door...with hands that are not mine…_ **

**_One-Two!_ **

**_Red….the blood spilled from his chest…_ **

**_Rage…?_ **

**_Sadness…?_ **

**_Anguish?_ **

**_....Satisfaction? ...no...not in a happy way…_ **

**_Don't cry …_ **

**_Don't cry…_ **

**_Don't cry-.._ **

**_No..._ **

**_No…_ **

**_Cry...scream…let them know…!_ **

**_Promised to...protect_ _her_ _...protect_ _him_ _…_ **

**_It's my fault that… that sheet was laid atop him…._ **

**_Don't let that….happen to her…_ **

**_A blinding light, a burning feeling…_ **

**_I run to...to the shell..._ **

**_Giant black shadow… it's terrifying... it's sad… it makes me scream in rage…_ **

**_It won't get in._ **

**_It won't have her._ **

**_It can't._ **

**_It will not have her._ **

**_I won't let i-_ **

**_A black edged blade made of bone and tendon slides elegantly out of a slit in it's arm,_ **

**_grey teeth dyed red curl back in an ugly snarl,_ **

**_Pitch black face that hides no eyes beneath a cursed crown..._ **

**_I know this beast…_ **

**_Was the beast her construct? Or had it always existed?_ **

**_Protect… Protect… Protect…_ **

**_Searing pain as it's blade plunges through me...each inch of it digging through, further and further…_ **

**_Ripping through me..._ **

**_Black of the world, black of the creature...fades to mixing colors…_ **

**_Black fades to purple, swirling and mixing. Purple fades into grey, stark and cold…_ **

**_Standing in front of a steel door…_ **

**_My hands shake instead of those legs…_ **

**_Opening the door, sprinting in…_ **

**_Hah... It's about time someone arrived… I was expecting someone else…_ **

**_Indigo, eyes that flowed over with-_ **

Zuki woke up with a loud gasp. A sound that was cut short. The sound reverberates around her, blending in with the gentle sounds of the rain falling just outside the small window in her living quarters.

Cold, like the sweat rolling down her body. Like the tears that rolled down her cheeks.

The sound dissipating, leaving only the girl sitting up.

She listened to the sound of her breathing. The sound of the rain. The sounds of water running off of the many ledges that make up the surroundings of the Muladhara base.  Her heart pounded frantically, slamming and beating against her chest, like it was struggling, begging to be set free. As though it wished to fly far away from whatever that dream was about.

  
  


It was deafening.

  
  


And she simply sat there, leaning against the wall next to her bed. Breathing.

Sweat beaded from her forehead, short indigo hair sticking to it in clumps.

Her hand placed firmly on her Atma brand, attempting to calm down and stop the burning lines spreading up her body and down her arm from the feelings that threatened to consume her.

  
  
  
  


_ Murrow~! _

She jumped as a certain black cat leapt up onto her bed, the feeling of the bed caving under the cat's slight weight drawing her from whatever daze she had inadvertently locked herself in.

Indigo eyes snapped open wide to look over at the feline.

Zuki smiled, letting out a soft laugh as the cat nuzzled their head under her outstretched hand.

"You scared me, little kitten…"

The cat merely let out a soft  _ mrrrp! _ in response.

She giggled, moving to scratch behind their silver ear.

"What, did you hear me call out? It was just a bad dream, little kitten. Though, if you wanted to find out about it, afraid I won't be much help there."

The cat waved their tail in response, pulling their head away to shake their head rapidly, then scratch at an ear with a back paw.

Zuki smiled. "Well, nice to know that you don't seem to really care about that."

She crossed her arms at the cat who then began to bathe the paw they had been scratching with, a slight smirk cocking her lips somewhat askew, though that apparent playfulness did not yet reach her eyes.

"So, what do you suppose we do now? It's still far too late for anyone to truly be awake, except for the guards posted outside."

At this suggestion, the cat lowers their paw and seems to gaze back at her with a sense of knowing in their silver eyes. As though she had asked them the correct question for tonight.

They meowed once more, turning around and jumping off the bed, bells on the collar around their neck chiming softly. They trotted over to the door, pawing at it.

Once. Twice. Thrice.

They circled around it before looking back at Zuki from over their shoulder.

The girl simply laughed once more before rising to her feet. "Fine, fine. We can walk around for a while. Just give me a sec."

Walking to a small set of drawers by her bed, Zuki rummaged through them for a moment before lifting out a simple, large, grey long sleeved shirt. It has the signature Embryon Orange paint splattered onto it, though instead of in simply a stripe, an X, or an abstract design, Cielo had been kind enough to add a little artistic flair to it.

She smiled at the little messy heart he had drawn onto the chest of the shirt, positioned right above where her heart would be.

Cielo had been the one to make and design all of the uniforms worn by the group. So, when she asked for a simple, comfy shirt she could sleep in, he was more than alright with the challenge.

Zuki has found in recent days that she did not like sleeping in the typical under armor worn by almost everyone. It felt too restrictive, and was ever grateful to Cielo for making her a few of these.

Not caring about revealing her nudeness in front of the cat, Zuki lifted the shirt she had been wearing over her head, sighing in relief when the now sweaty garment was gone from her body before tossing it in her hamper, along with the pair of undergarments she had been wearing, just to be safe.

She slipped on a fresh pair of undergarments before grasping onto the clean shirt, and sliding it over her head. A sense of contentment came over her at the scent of clean clothes, and the warmth they brought her.

Once she donned a clean pair of socks, Zuki slid on her shoes, put on her tag ring, then retrieved her personal data tablet before moving to open the door.

Zuki stood to the side, motioning for the cat to leave first. "After you, my fine furry friend."

The cat chirped in response, trotting through with their tail and head held high, seemingly proud that they got to leave first.

The girl smiled, giggling in response before walking through and closing the door as quietly as she could.

  
  
  


The walk was silent.

Nothing seemed to make a sound beyond the rumbling of the pipes within the walls, the soft padding of the cat's paws, and the light sounds of her own shoes. 

_ tip….tap….tip….tap…  _

Rati hummed with a sense of uncertainty in the back of her mind. She seemed to know what had lain in the dream that had haunted her host. Though, she revealed none of it to her.

And quite frankly? Zuki was glad for that.

She did, however, inform her host that she should likely get something to eat or drink. It might help calm her, and fend off the slightly growing hunger.

Zuki smiled internally, nodding at the consciousness within her.

Sometimes, being one with a cannibalistic demon wasn't always bad.

Unless said demon wouldn't stop being drawn to another demon's ass. Zuki could agree that it was a fine ass, but during combat? That only served as a distraction.

…..It was a nice distraction, though.

Zuki pouted at the Demoness' internal laugh at finally getting her host to agree with her.

Shaking her head to try and clear the inner sound from her head, she looked down at the cat walking along beside her. "Shall we go and get something from the canteen?"

The feline meowed in response, swishing their tail with some excitement as the two began to head towards the kitchen.

  
  


All seemed to be getting better for a time.

Zuki had memorized the sounds of the base. The sounds of gas and water moving through the pipes, the foundation settling, the rain sluicing between the ledges and roves, wind whipping around the outside of the base.

They were all familiar and comforting.

Those sounds permeated the small cafeteria for the officers. It helped to soothe Zuki's nerves as she stepped inside.

First thing she took care of was heading to a little pantry the group had set up, and retrieved a little ration can.

It wasn't much, but the familiar sound of her opening the lid had the little cat, whom had made their home here, trotting over. They nuzzled and headbutted her legs, meowing and trilling expectantly and the prospect of food.

Zuki smiled and laughed at the cat's antics, kneeling down and leaning over to place the can a little ways off, so the cat would be out from underfoot. Almost immediately, they took for the rations, eating it gratefully.

"Hehe! You're welcome, little friend!"

The cat looked back up at her and meowed in return.

It was rather interesting, but the rations they could buy or find were not made from the meat of demons. They could still eat it as food, but it wouldn't give them the Magnetite they needed to keep them sated for long.

Though, at least it was something, and they could feed it to the cat without it being weird.

Without much more waiting around, Zuki filled up the small electric kettle with some water and set it to heat up. While she waited, she opened up a small box that had been placed on the counter and picked a packet out of it.

Zuki never knew who it was, but someone always kept the box stocked with little instant packets of flavored drink. Some were more bitter than others, some more sweet, and some more savory. Some had caffeine, and some were designed to help someone sleep, or recover from illness.

She hummed a small, random tune while pulling out a packet of something that Sera had excitedly deemed was to be called "hot chocolate" when she first tried this particular blend.

Zuki had no idea what chocolate was, or why it should be hot, but she agreed that seemed like the appropriate name for these packets.(Some of the other names given to others were "green tea", "chamomile tea", and "coffee".)

The sweet scent filled the air, wafting from the warm drink.

Zuki set her personal data tablet on the counter, opting to lean against it, her mug in her hands.

She gazed into the little bits of swirling bubbles.

Finally, something sweet to curb the nagging fear in the back of her mind…

It was still there… pulling and tugging on her psyche, wanting to return to the forefront of her mind and overtake her.

A hard fear, burning loss, a deep sadness...and something else…

It was an emotion that burdened her daily, yet kept her going. Something strong, yet weak. Bright, yet dark. Cool, yet burning. An emotion that she could only associate with one color.

One color that belonged to one person.

Idly, she blew on the savory liquid, cooling it just enough to bring it to her lips and sip.

The taste washed over her mouth, the warmth moving from her hands and into her stomach.

It did a little to calm her nerves.

Letting her mind wander, Zuki found herself almost halfway finished with her mug, and still nowhere close to figuring out what was in her dream.

She could hardly remember anything beyond a few flashes…

One sound she had heard stood out in her mind.

A horrible grating, loud, sad sound. So loud it could be heard far above ground. So sad it drove most of those who heard it mad.

What...what was it?

She could barely remember what it sounded like, only that it made her feel as though her heart was going to split in half.

But...what was it…? Who was it…?

  
  


So lost in thought, she didn't notice the cat lift their head from their food. Their ears were straight up and primed, the silver colored ear tilted slightly askew as it tried to find the source of a sound that Zuki could not hear.

They stood there for several moments before trilling, trotting up to the door to lean up on their hind paws and scratching at it.

The sound drew Zuki from her thoughts. She walked over, putting her personal data tablet under her arm.

Frowning in concern, she leaned down and gave them a couple of pats.

"What's wrong? Food not agree with you?"

She got a somewhat frantic meow in response. The cat plopped down onto all fours once again, now circling around the door. They never took their eyes off of it.

Whether it was on a whim, or she trusted that the cat was actually trying to tell her something, she wasn't sure. Even so, Zuki held her mug with her right hand, sliding her tablet under that arm and opening the door with her left.

And thus began the search.

Zuki followed after the black cat, grateful for the enhanced eyesight her more demonic side gave her that would allow to clearly see the dark colored feline in the dark of the base as they traveled a bit further.

She knew this path. It led back to the officers' quarters. Though, they passed the turn that would have led to her room a little while ago.

Zuki was familiar with all of the sounds echoing through the base.

The sounds of talking, the rattling of guns and supplies being transported, the subtle beeping of data pads and other tech. The sounds of laughing, of whispers, of angry shouts and even the rare scream of someone who had been pushed just a little too far.

But the cold door they now stood before…

Another sound filtered through the steel grey and orange door.

Soft and shuddering. Wet, accented by small gasps. A sad, almost desperate sound.

It was one that she'd heard Argilla make from time to time ever since Jinana's death. Even Sera made this noise on a rare occasion, and even Cielo once or twice. It was a sound that she would never think that...the person who slept in this room would make.

  
  


**_Crying_ ** .

  
  


The cat mewed softly. They pawed at the door before looking back up at Zuki.

The young woman stood there, her left hand over the door controls.

This bright back an odd sense of déjà vu… faint memories from...something….

Even though she knew what was beyond this door, it still brought apprehension. As though opening this door would unleash... _ something _ to reach out and grab at her.

When she heard a soft, choked sound come from the voice within, that gave her enough courage to quietly open the door.

The inside of the room was… not like she expected.

Unlike everyone else who kept their rooms relatively neat, there were some clothes, empty ammo cases, and some other unidentifiable trinkets scattered on the floor.

Not enough to be a nuisance, but definitely enough to take notice.

It took her a moment to see properly in the far darker room. In the far corner was a desk with a monitor and… a mostly dismantled grenade launcher on it. Cleaning and maintenance tools were strewn out next to the weapon, and the ammo could be seen in an open case beneath the desk. Zuki could see an office chair in front of the desk that had a grey cloak strewn across the back. A standard Embryon uniform sat in a pile on the seat. Clothes and other odds and ends seemed to spill out of the little drawers situated near the desk and at the foot of the bed.

If it wasn't for the soft crying emanating from the room, she might have chuckled at the disarray of the room.

But at the moment, she felt more concern than humor.

Carefully, she stepped around what objects lay in her path, attempting to stay relatively quiet as she made her way to the bed.

She stood next to it, fingers clenched tightly around the handle of her mug as she set it down on the small set of drawers at the foot of the bed, along with her data tablet, not wanting to drop her hot beverage on the person sleeping.

Well… whatever sort of state of rest this could be called.

It felt as though strings twined around her heart pulled and tugged painfully at the sight of the person laying in their bed.

Blankets were kicked around haphazardly… a pillow halfway off of the bed… and a young man laid on his side, his back to her. His chest rose and fell in shudders. He seemed to still be wearing his under armor.

She could only just make out his face. Teeth clenched, cheeks dampened.. Red hair turned burgundy in the dark, sticking to his forehead, neck, and cheeks from sweat.

Biting her lip, she leaned down.

Taking a deep breath, she reached out and gently touched his shoulder.

Letting it out shakily, she spoke softly.

"Heat…?"

Not getting a response initially, Zuki shook his shoulder ever so slightly, and raised her voice to slightly above a quiet whisper.

"Heat…! Wake u- _ Ah! _ "

A hand bigger than hers shot up, grasping tightly onto her wrist. Each finger felt like a vice, curling around her wrist and squeezing tighter, tighter, and tighter. There was a soft scent of smoke coming from his steadily heating hand with each pulse of his agitated, glowing Atma Brand. Heat's red eyes slowly began to fade to gold as he glared almost angrily at her.

His voice was cracked from his fitful sleep, but no was less threatening.

" **What the** **_hell_ ** **are you** **_doing in here_ ** **?** "

Anyone else might have been fairly scared, and Zuki would admit that he did surprise her.

But was she scared? No, not really. For some reason, like this… he didn't scare her at all. She didn't even feel angry at him. How could she, when she had been in a similar state not long ago?

Carefully, Zuki moved her free hand to hand that Heat kept gripped around her wrist. She gently wrapped her finger around his arm, using her thumb to slowly rub just below the pressure point on his wrist.

She never took her eyes off of his, and spoke in a slightly shaky voice.

"I… I came, I came here because the cat was worried about you. I-I was as well, too, so…"-Her lips upturned in a knowing and comforting smile-"Had a bad dream?"

Heat looked her over cautiously. He didn't respond for several long moments that seemed to stretch on for an eternity.

Slowly, his grip relaxed until he was simply holding her with a normal amount of strength, the burning warmth fading from his touch.

His glare simmered down, and the glow from his brand and eyes faded. He moved to sit up. Zuki could hear that he let out the breath he was likely holding before he spoke.

"Yeah… You could say that."

She let out a breath of relief as Heat calmed down.

Whatever dream he must have had… it must have been horrible to cause him to react like that.

As hostile and aggressive as he could be, Zuki still trusted that he wouldn't hurt her. 

Although, considering his reaction to being pulled from whatever he was facing in his dreams, she was glad her gloves cover the entirety of her wrists. Now, there will likely be bruises and light burns where his fingers had squeezed onto the skin.

Zuki made no indication that she was going to move, and still kept her free hand on his arm.

The light glow of her data tablet cast a soft light on Heat's face, allowing her to see him more clearly in his dark room. He seemed to be looking right at her still, red eyes flicking between her face, and their hands.

A silence had fallen over her, as the reality of where she was began to sink in.

She was currently in  _ Heat's living quarters _ ,  _ Heat _ was still  _ holding her arm _ , and  _ she _ was still  _ holding onto his _ .

Zuki hoped and wished that Heat couldn't see the flush that was blooming on her cheeks.

It seemed that she would never get an answer to that question.

Heat sniffed the air, looking around the room. "What's that smell? It's...sweet."

Zuki blinked, unsure of what he was talking about at first. The only things he could smell would be his own possessions, herself, and - 

"Oh!"

She nearly forgot about the reason she had left the comfort of her room in the first place. (Reluctantly)Letting go of Heat's hand, and him letting go of her wrist(was that hesitation in his movements?) so she could stand back up and retrieve her mug off of the drawers at the foot of his bed.

Zuki looked down at the mug for a moment before turning to face Heat. "It's just some instant drink, the one that everyone's taken to calling hot choc-oh!"

She was met with a rather pleasant surprise. One that made her smile and her heart warm.

The cat had jumped up onto the bed, much like what they had done for her, and was currently nuzzling Heat's arm. They were purring loud enough that Zuki could hear the rumbling loud and clear, and kept going until Heat awkwardly started patting their head. He soon began giving them light scratches behind their silver-colored ear. Zuki could have sworn that she saw him actually give a slight smile at the clearly happy and comfy cat.

He seemed to glare up at her when he overheard her light giggles.

She smiles almost sheepishly at him, waving her hand dismissively. "Sorry, sorry! I can't help it! I've just never seen you smile like that before."

Heat raised an eyebrow at her, briefly surprised before he looked back down at the cat with his usual scowl. "Whatever. What were you saying before you decided to laugh at me?" He never once ceased his petting and scratching as he spoke.

Just barely made visible by the dim light of her data tablet, Zuki was almost positive that she had just seen the normally angry and stoic Heat  _ blush _ .

She'd seen him blush faintly but once or twice before, but… this felt different.

It made her own cheeks flush, and her heart flutter.

"It's just some hot chocolate. I was drinking it on my way back to my quarters when the cat and I heard noises coming from your room."

Zuki glanced down at her half empty mug. The hot chocolate was fairly lukewarm now compared to earlier.

She'd been tempted to give her remaining drink to Heat, but she had a better idea.

Zuki looked back over at him, smiling calmly and setting her mug back down on the small drawers. "Hey, I'm gonna run and grab a couple of things. I'll be right back!"

Before Heat had a chance to respond, Zuki was already walking out of his door.

She walked briskly down the halls, though tried to stay relatively quiet as she journeyed first to her quarters.

As excited as she was, she didn't want to end up alerting everyone to what was going on.

The first place she went to was her bed. She gathered up a pillow and one of her blankets. The blanket was folded longways, with her pillow placed on one end. Next, she held that end of the blanket up against the pillow, then began rolling it in on itself as she went down. Finally, with a bit of effort, she tucked the bottom end of the blanket inside the roll so it wouldn't come undone in transport. Zuki smiled rather proudly at her little blanket/pillow wrap, then held it under one arm as she quietly jogged out of her room, pausing only to turn the lights off and close the door.

Not wanting to keep her comrade waiting, Zuki quickly walked back to the canteen.

She set the water to boil, getting a new mug for Heat and pouring another packet of hot chocolate into the bottom of her mug preemptively.

It'd be a few minutes until the water boiled, and see frowned as she realized that she'd left her data tablet in Heat's quarters.

A sigh left her as she leaned forward, resting her elbows on the counter and placing her chin in her hands. 

"I guess it's a good thing I have a password on that thing, then…" She whispered out loud to no one in particular.

As the moments ticked by, and the little thermometer on the kettle rose up and up. In the tedium, Zuki's mind drifted.

"I wonder what...could have shaken Heat that much…?"

She crossed her arms atop the counter, tapping the toe of her shoes against the floor as she rested her cheek against her arms. She closed her eyes in thought.

In all her time here in Muladhara, with the Embryon… she'd never seen him  _ cry _ .

"Whatever it was… It must have been truly awful."

Right before the kettle reached boiling and made that obnoxious whistling sound, she reached over and turned it off, standing up and pouring the hot water into the mug and letting the swirling water dissolve the powder before stirring it in with a plastic spoon. 

She doubted that he'd tell her what had made him that upset, but… the least she could do was try and comfort him.

Taking a moment to wash the spoon she'd used and put it away, she picked up Heat's mug and her blanket wrap, quickly making her way back to his quarters.

Quietly, Zuki knocked on his door once she'd finally reached it. "It's me. Finally got everything."

She could hear the sound of things being shifted about the room before the door slid open.

Eyes still somewhat adjusted to the dim light, she could see that there was significantly less debris on the floor leading from the door to the bed on which Hear sat, the cat asleep on his pillow.

He lifted his head, crimson eyes meeting hers. "So, what's this "grand idea" of yours?"

Zuki stepped inside, closing the door behind her before walking over to the shock trooper. 

"My idea…,"-She gave the mug of warm drink to Heat, giving him a moment to grasp it and examine its contents before sitting down next to him. She hugged her blanket wrap close to her chest, giving him an understanding smile.-"was to get you a warm drink, and we can enjoy some mutual comfort." She let out a small breath through her nose, looking down at her shoes as she shifted her feet. "Cielo, Sera, and I have done something like this before."

The mention of Sera caused Heat to look up from his drink and look at the Zuki curiously as she continued.

"Cielo and I were up late during Shade Time a few days ago. He wasn't quite tired yet, and I still had some reports to write on a scouting mission I had gone on, so we were just hanging out together. He had heard sniffling outside the door and went to investigate. A few moments later, he came in with a clearly rattled Sera."

Idle fingers played with grey fabric, wandering eyes shifted from her shoes to an ammo case across the room from the pair.

"It was Cielo's idea to get her a warm drink, thinking that it'd help her calm down. She later told us how she had an awful dream. She couldn't remember what it was, but...it scared her. When she managed to wake up, she decided to leave her room and find one of us. 'Being near you all makes me feel safe.' she said."

She hummed softly, looking up at Heat.

"The three of us decided to camp out in Cielo's room. We made a pile of pillows on the floor using what was on our beds and stealing a few from the supply room, covered it with blankets, and spent the rest of the night talking until we fell asleep. So…"

Zuki could feel her cheeks bloom a soft pink as she shifted a bit, turning her head back down towards her feet again.

"So I… um… I thought that we could do something similar…"

Silence fell over the pair. Had Zuki looked back up at Heat, she'd have seen the look of honest surprise and confusion he bore.

He looked from her, then back down to his mug, unsure of what to say.

He didn't think that… someone would want to stay with him, let alone  _ her _ . It felt like at every turn, the newest member of their little team would try and fight with him.

Whether it be about how brutally he took down foes to the way he ate("Just because we can transform into demons doesn't mean we have to eat like them!" she'd shouted at him at one point), or when he would say something that seemed to hurt another person's feelings, she seemed to fight him on most topics.

And now here she was, saying that she was worried about him, and offering to stay with him after a nightmare.

A nervous, broken laugh left her, bringing him from his thoughts.

She hugged her wrap to her chest, hands clenched tightly onto the fabric. "Sorry… Must seem silly to you. I can leave if you want me to-"

"No!"

Heat felt just as surprised as Zuki's gaze snapped up to meet his, with her indigo eyes bright and wide.

"What…?"

He looked off to the side, clearing his throat and taking a quick swig of a drink he seemed to realize was still way too hot. Heat coughed and sputtered, covering his mouth with the back of his hand.

Zuki sat up straight with concern, reaching out and rubbing his back gently.

He waved her off once the burning in his throat tapered off, and she was unsure if the faint red she saw on his cheeks was from the warmth of his drink or from something else.

"I-It's fine! You can stay. I just...I guess I…"

He turned back to her for a moment before looking away. "I didn't think you'd even consider it."

Zuki blinked, but looked down.

That hurt… was that the impression she gave him? Of someone who was that unkind to someone she cared so deeply about?

"Well… I worry, Heat. I worry about everyone. Especially you."

His eyes widened, and his head snapped back to her.

"You've scared me more times than I can count. Made my heart stop more times than I can count."

She bit her bottom lip, shaking her head. Her knees were brought up closer and the heels of her shoes dug into the side of the mattress.

_ 'Perhaps "stop" isn't the right word… it's like you've stolen it. Taken it away piece by piece… Almost all of it belongs to you now, if you'd understand that.' _

Releasing her lip with a sigh once she was sure she hadn't uttered those words, shaking her head. "But… That's not important now."

Indigo eyes gazed up at him, worry bleeding into them.

"So… What happened in your dream? Why were you crying?"

It took Heat a moment to snap out of the small trance she had caused. He blinked, mouth opening and closing as he tried to remember what that nightmare was even about.

It felt so far away… Though, perhaps that was a good thing. He could barely remember it beyond a few slight feelings.

"I… I don't know. Honestly, I can't remember what happened. I know it was...it was painful. I remember gunshot, pain, and someone crying."

Heat shook his head, closing his eyes as he tried to remember something...something  _ cohesive _ . "I'm not sure what it was, but… before you woke me up, I heard… I heard the sound of..of water crashing against a 'seashore'. I don't know what a 'seashore' is, but that's all I can remember."

Suddenly, Heat let out a growl, scrunching his eyes shut and gripping tightly onto his mug. " _ Dammit _ … I can't figure it out… There is no such thing as an 'ocean', or a 'seashore', or anything like that here in the Junkyard..! We have data on almost every inch of this damn place. There's just rocks, crags, and ruins for miles around! How the hell do we know about places and things that we've never even seen before..?!"

He moved a hand away from his mug, dragging it roughly across his face and grabbed harshly at his hair, tugging at it as he let out a frustrated sigh. "Ever since then…"

Zuki pursed her lips, anxiety bubbling up in her again.

He was right… they'd never seen an ocean before, an amusement park, and even the terms 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' were somewhat foreign to them! Hell, they had never even seen 'hot chocolate' before, and everyone could agree with the name Sera gave that drink mix!

Although… This wasn't the time to get upset about this…

Slowly, tentatively, she brought her hand towards his back. Ever so gently, she traced her fingertips along his spine, laying her palm to rest against his shoulder.

She squeezed softly, stroking the back of his shoulder with her thumb.

" _ Heat… _ "

The way his name left her lips… it was uttered in a soothing tone, soft and light.

"It's alright… We are not going to find an answer to that in the next few seconds, minutes, or maybe even years. Right now… it doesn't matter."

Slowly, she rubbed the heel of her palm against the muscle of his shoulder. Moving it around, she could feel where his muscles were bunched and tense, where firm muscles coiled into tight knots. Surely, she made her way from one knot to the next.

A smile grew across her lips as she realized that through her ministrations, Heat was very slowly letting go of his hair as he slowly relaxed.

"Does this feel better?"

"...Yeah. Keep going…"

And so she did. With her mug of hot chocolate abandoned on the small drawers, Zuki moved on the bed to kneel next to Heat. The new position let her press the heel of her hand deep against coiled muscles that slowly came undone.

It was a little worrying… While she wasn't surprised that he'd have tensed muscles, considering the fact that he was more of a brawler type and always slung around that massive grenade launcher.

But this...this wasn't just normal wear and tear on his body.

Knots and sore muscles had formed from anxiety and stress. His neck and shoulder muscles had tensed too, causing headaches as a result.

Her eyes closed for a moment, leaning her forehead closer to him and moving her body nearer.

What's been happening has been taking a toll on all of them, and not all of them were so willing to seek or accept comfort from others. That was clear with Heat.

He'd shoved away most people's attempts at trying to find out what was bothering him at a given time, and typically lashed out at others. Zuki could probably buy out the entire vendor if she had a point of Macca for each time she'd seen him glare at someone for showing concern towards him. He was the type to go it alone and try to work out his problems on his own.

If the cat hadn't heard Heat's sad, scared sobs, if she hadn't entered his room and woken him up…

She doubted that he would have sought out or really accepted any sort of comfort.

A small sound caught Zuki's attention.

It wasn't sad. It wasn't heartbreaking. It wasn't agitated.

It was a sound that she'd only really heard the cat make, and something similar to a sound she'd heard Cielo make as his Atma, Dyaus. Even Gale's Atma, Vayu, as Sera calmed him from a hunger-induced rampage.

A soft, rumbling sound. Similar to a growl, but softer.

Zuki leaned up as she looked back over at Heat, leaning over his shoulder just enough to see his face through his waves of crimson hair.

Red eyes were closed, a normally scowling face was now relaxed. Hands that once tightly gripped the warm mug of hot chocolate now loosely grasped it as he let it sit on his lap.

The sound, as quiet as it was, was Heat  _ purring _ .

Despite it having been born from the demon that he, and others afflicted, had become one with, it was a pure, safe sound nonetheless.

Their demonic alter egos were animalistic creatures of rage, hunger, and passion. Though, that doesn't mean that they weren't capable of...softness from time to time.

She smiled, going back into her work as she hummed a tune that laid at the corner of her memories, letting the sound blend into the background, laying it beneath the sound of Heat's gentle purrs.

"Hey…"

Zuki's eyes blinked to attention, leaning back over to look at Heat and let him know he had her attention. "Yes?"

He paused, turning towards her and half opening his eyes. His lips frowned in worry, and his brow creased with concern. "You said that you had a nightmare as well. Do you… want to talk about it?"

She hummed in thought.

"I... don't remember mine either."- Zuki let out a soft breath, pausing her movements as she continued.-"I don't remember what scared me, or what caused me to cry. Nothing except a sound."

Heat turned around to face her, eyebrows crooked in confusion and curiosity. "A sound?"

She nodded. Remembering any fragment of that sound made her heart hurt, and left her avoiding his gaze. "A sound. Loud and defaning. I can't remember where I hear it, but it can be heard far above ground, and close to its source the force shakes me to my core."

Zuki shook her head, biting the inside of her cheek to keep herself from being consumed by her own emotions. "It's a sound that sounds...sad..and bitter."

Heat frowned at how the young woman, despite how firm she seemed normally, was now clearly shaken by something that could have been made by something in her own mind.

Little did he know that she had come to a comparison that filled her with dread.

She let out a breath, trying to relax. Zuki half forces the smile that she gives him. "But… that doesn't matter much now. Our nightmares are simply that: nightmares. We're awake now, and the terrors are behind us. And not only that, we need to get some rest for tomorrow."

Zuki slipped from behind him in a few fluid movements, sliding back next to Heat to stand up and grasp her blanket and pillow wrap.

Unraveling it, she set the pillow on the bed to unfold her blanket, spreading it out in the air to let it gracefully spread out on the floor next to Heat's bed.

He cocked his head in confusion as she sat down on the blanket and grabbed her pillow, holding it close. "Wha-What are you doing? You don't have to sleep on the floor."

Zuki smiled back up at him, crossing her legs and held her pillow against her stomach. "This is what you do in this sort of situation. Your bed is your own, so I'll just sleep here." She moved to lay her pillow down at the end of her blanket, turning her back to Heat. "Well, good night, Hea-hey!"

She sat up in shock as her pillow was pulled from beneath her head by a large hand. She quickly glared back up at the man who took the comfy object from her, a sign of her usual fire.

The red haired man gives her an almost playful smirk as he dangles it briefly above her before moving his own pillow to the side before placing her pillow next to him.

Heat motions for her to join him, shifting so that he was closer to the wall. "Come on. I don't care what the hell you're supposed to do during something like this, but I'm not letting you sleep on the floor."

Zuki was stunned, and she felt her heart and stomach flutter just like before. Like those other times when she was in a situation that involved the man in front of her.

She shouldn't feel this nervous. This...weird. she had slept alongside other men before on missions, and like when the old area where the female newbies would sleep had been renovated, and they had to stay with the men.

But she did.

Although, this nervousness isn't out of fear of what Heat might do to her,-she trusts that he wouldn't hurt her-, but what this might mean. What will change if she gets upon his bed? Even Rati whispered in the back of her mind about the possible implications of what could happen.

Even so, she stood up, gathered her blanket up and shook whatever dust or debris was on the floor off before wrapping it around herself and joining Heat on the bed.

"Fine,-" she sighed.-", you win." Despite her apparent reluctant behavior, Zuki smiled at him. "I'm off of the floor. Now, shall we go back to sleep?"

Heat matched her smile with his own smirk, though she could swear that it seemed more kind and gentle, rather than smug. "Yeah…"

The pair laid down, tucked under their own blankets, and their heads rested on their own pillows. Zuki at first tries to sleep on her back, staring up at the ceiling as she listened to Heat's breathing slowly even out.

Her mind drifted as the night stretched on. The sound of the rain mixing with the sound of breathing.

She found herself unable to fully sleep. Unlike what she said to Heat, her nightmare still haunted her. Something about it still bothered her.

The sound…. It sounded far too similar to something she had heard not long ago.

A sound that began to repeat once more, right next to her.

Zuki turned to check on Heat, finding him facing her. His face scrunched up in what looked like fear, rage, or sadness, or perhaps a combination of all three. Something began to grip at her heart. That same something that gave her the need to comfort him. The very something that she submitted to not long before her emotions and 'self' awakened.

Zuki brought her hand out, gently tracing her fingers along his cheek, brushing crimson locks fruitlessly to the side, only for them to fall back into his face. She wasn't sure why she did it, but it seemed to help.

She hummed again, that tune that had begun to poke at the edge of her mind.

A soft, sad tune, albeit soothing. Zuki hummed as she moved her hand around to the back of his neck. Gentle, deft fingers rubbed along the base of his hairline, down to the base of his neck.

Soon, his expression relaxed, and so did she.

Zuki smiled fondly, a warm feeling blooming in her chest. Not hunger, not rage, not the bloodlust of their demons. A comfortable, soothing feeling. One that only came to her at certain times, and especially only with certain people.

Cielo... Sera… even Rati seemed to feel this way about Varuna. Although with the two youngest members of their little group, Zuki felt differently towards them than she felt towards the man in front of them. It was more similar to how Rati felt towards Varuna, but not as...physical.

Heat is an attractive man, yes, but that wasn't one of the main reasons why she cared so much about him.

Zuki wanted to protect Heat,-considering all of the trouble he gets into-, and wished for him to be happy and safe, but not in the same way she felt the need to protect Sera and Cielo and make sure they were happy.

It was a strange in-between. Not quite one, and not quite the other. It was weird, unknown, but not unwelcome.

She wanted to share this feeling with him, but despite this evening, she had a feeling that he didn't feel the same way towards her in return. She saw the way that he looked at a certain other person, and despite how much it did hurt…

This was fine.

Zuki moved closer to Heat. Close enough that she could feel the warmth of his body against hers. Close enough that she could smell the faint scent of spice on him. Although, not close enough that any other part was touching him but the hand she was using to comfort him.

Feeling like this, despite the pain it brought her, was fine. She'll cherish this feeling, hold it close to her heart.

One day, she'll tell him. One day. But until then, this was fine.

As she fell asleep, only one thought lingered in her mind.

The faint sense of deja vu she felt at hearing his cries beyond the metal door that led to Heat's room.

Silver eyes watched the pair as they slept, watching from atop the drawers where two abandoned mugs sat.

_ ……. _

**_Yes, I know you expected someone else… I was worried about you. The cat was as well…_ **

**_So...did you have a bad dream?_ **


End file.
